[Review] If I Stopped Haunting You by Colby Wilkens

I can't resist a book about writers going on a writer's retreat, so I was super excited to crack into this one.

There is so much good stuff in this book. Firstly, I loved the Native American representation. It felt real and modern. And it touched on an issue seldom addressed in literature: what it means to be Native American—specifically, the difficulties of being a Native writer. There is some really good social commentary regarding that. Also, I loved that the characters are all sexually fluid in a way that feels natural and unforced. And the writing felt compelling and well-paced.

Having said that, I do have mixed feelings about this book, to the point where I can't remember the last time I read a book that I felt this conflicted about. Let me start by saying that I'm not usually a fan of the enemies-to-lovers trope, because it tends to promote and normalize toxic behavior. And this book turned out to be a prime example of what I hate about the trope. The female main character, Penelope, is too violent and hateful to be a likable character. She's snarky, antagonistic, and flat-out mean. Yet everyone loves her, including her gorgeous, successful rival, whom she physically disfigured at the beginning of the book. Rewarding such bad behavior is so ugh and cringey.

Despite the problems that niggled at me throughout, there was still so much about this book that I loved.

Note: I received this book as an ARC. It is scheduled to be released October 15, 2024.

3 stars